labouring memories

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come on then we take the p..s out of what apprentices do wrong ,what about when you was learning? mine was watched me old boss do a 4x6 ceiling comb pattern [circle and fan pattern]took about 7 hours including prep.when finished i enthusisticaly started to clear up [as a 19 year old would to get down the pub] put buckets and tools on van picked up scaff board on shoulder and draged it across ceiling .another time had to follow him in his new van never driven it before ,bottem of his road turned corner hit a brick pier wrote of side of van.i was a c.nt. worked for him for 3 years ,bless im iam surprised he didnt have a twitch by the time i went
 
I couldn't pick the bucket up to pour on the spot in me first week. I also remember when a bucket bottomed out on me, plaster all over the stairs
 
Some of the happiest days of my life, found labouring a piece of pee. Used to labour on three guys (although they weren't the fastest) and at 16 it was me taking the pee out of them, I think it was on my second day one of them asked me to go to the compound on site and get a "long weight", so of I went knowing exactly what was going on and sat in the site office drinking tea with the foreman for the next 3 hours :D I don't think they knew I'd been going to site with my old man since I was a kid (sky hooks, stripped paint and pudlock holes) They didn't try taking the mick again 8)
 
i was asked to get some jump leads for the mixer ????dohhhhhhhh. but the 1 i really laugh about was when they told me to mix up alpine finish i spent about an hour trying to get lumps out then the c**ts came and said it was ment to be lumpy ..happy days
 
my mate flicked a bit off cat poo out of a wall ...err cat s.h.i.t..........so the labourer caught it ;D
 
i fell down a drain hole on site once, and it had been raining and my entire leg was soaked. i also dropped a whole bucket of skimming on a brick wall when climbing a ladder, they told me just to mix half buckets but wanted to prove myself i didnt listen. our current labourer does that many stupid things i'd be telling you all weekend!
 
I had a nightmare ,worked for a couple of spreads house bashing float and set on some large sites around Braintree in the mid 80s ,hoding floor screed up stairs in winter enough said.
 
on the same job i lobed a scaffold plank out of a top floor window it bounced of the floor and threw the down stairs curved window, the stood on a loose floor board while skimming the bathroom and put my food threw the ceiling while the painter was rolling the other side! the lent 40+ sheets of hardboard on an antique wardrobe and it feel and smashed then on lunch i played on there huge posh snooker table and the white ball flicked up and very nearly smashed the huge posh french door window. put the cue down and went home!
 
kid i was working with few years back fell through the kitchen floor came up to his shoulders. he was a bit of a mardy cu.nt.
you ever seen a 30 yr old man cry with a trowel and hawk in hand???
 
also whilst coving as a labourer i poured boiling hot water straight from kettle on my gaffers hand to which he screamed then belted me round back of head. same job before the coving incident i shouted HAROLD (steptoe & son voice) my gaffer comes bombing down stairs to give me a bolloc.king slips on sheet nearly breaks his neck.
goes without saying he had a word with me at end of the day
 
oasis said:
on the same job i lobed a scaffold plank out of a top floor window it bounced of the floor and threw the down stairs curved window, the stood on a loose floor board while skimming the bathroom and put my food threw the ceiling while the painter was rolling the other side! the lent 40+ sheets of hardboard on an antique wardrobe and it feel and smashed then on lunch i played on there huge posh snooker table and the white ball flicked up and very nearly smashed the huge posh french door window. put the cue down and went home!
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This sounds so funny I can't wait to hear what happened on the second day ;)
 
when I was labouring I was told to cut through a cable on-site, when I asked whether it was live the bass turned around and told me the light isn't on is it? I said no he said will cut the bloody thing!!! so I did when I got shot across the room with a big flash! Hence my nickname is now flash!

But not only that I was shocked three times in the same week from doing stupid things and now that name has stuck!

My boss at the time to even ask what my real name was because he'd forgotten what it was

Danny (Flash)
 
when i started i used to knock up for two lunatics they would put on about 100m2 a set and a bit for me we started one job 6.30am bond and set finished the whole house 600m2 the same day 7.30
 
they are old men now remember knocking up s+c for them xmas eve outside in pissing down rain finished at 7pm and they would beat me up now and again
 
good ;D do you abuse youre lab or did it send you the other way and you nurture them almost like a father son relationship
 
I remember when i was labouring my old man told me to fill around a manhole with a barrel of left over screed when i came back 10 mins later my old man said that was fast and when i told him there wasnt no where near a enough he started to look a bit puzzled it then came to light that i thought he said fill up the man hole ;D it cost a few grand to sort it out i wasnt too popular for a while ;D ;D
 
rendering a massive garage car repair place years ago on sunday morning mixed myself to death loaded them up and then some told them i was off to the shops and pissed off and played football for my sunday team then went on the piss with the lads the gaffer sacked me and hired me 3 times over the next week proper saw his arrrrrse
 
The first external render I worked on when I left school the gable end scaffold had been left low, so the pratt I was working with got me to struggle up the ladder with a forty gallon drum and then go get his beer crate. "Yeah should be able to reach of that" he said, I said "you must be mad getting on there", "I'm not" he said "you are". So there I was having never put any render on a wall standing on a beer crate, balanced on an oil drum, on a gable end :o By the time it got to rubbing up the top coat I was starting to feel quite comfortable up there ;D
 
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