Human s**t....but not what you think......
Man, had to laugh at some of this stuff! :RpS_lol:
I've only told one bloke this story (funnily enough, a spread.... WTF!), for years I was too embarrassed....
Was working on a really big, posh house out in one of the little villages near Retford. Everything, perfect, y'know. Nice place, nice motors, good jobs, fit missus, 2 and a half kids, lovely dog etc, you get the deal....
Well, I am working all alone outside, while my mate was at the merchants, trouble was that he had the key and I was dying to go to the bog.
Lovely summers day, acres of garden, I thought no worries, be like camping.
Off I trot down to the bottom of the garden and find a nice secluded spot well out of the way. Scrape a bit of a hollow next to a fence and got on with the business.
Just standing up and pullin up me troosers when the bloody dog came running up to me and scoffed the bloody lot, woof! didn't have time to shoo her off or owt.....
Well, if that wasn't bad enough, later on when the missus came home, the bloody dog went bounding up to her, slobbering all over her face..
I was retching like a donkey.........
But what makes it worth the chocolate brownie, for the worst conditions is that I worked on that house for 18 months.......and if I did not hang my head in shame every feckin time I saw that woman, well I don't know.....:RpS_blushing: