Change of circumstances

[Vincey]

Mate , how old are your 2 kids , I'm presuming under 4 , can't the Mrs wait till they are all at school till this happens that way you can both still go do what you want but the bonus could be you only work say 9.30. - 3

I got no kids but all my mates have and that's how they kind of work it.

 

[zolco]

I couldn't stay at home with the kid for the life of me, I love him dearly but it's hard work. My mate had to stay at home with his 2 kids because his Mrs had depression and had to go back to work after their 2nd one born, he was out of work for 2 years, but he's a bubbly personality.

 

[John j]

Wife's just had a year of . We made sure cash was in place to cover it . We also realised we do t need no where near the money we spend. So now shes going back we are saving more . How longs she studying for

 

[Danny]

I am in the same boat @Formby plastering

jane is due in october and 9 months after she is going back to work full time. Her wages are guaranteed and is very well paid. I take big gambles with my money and they pay off or they dont. If jane stays home I wont be able to take the risks I currently do so my whole business model is hampered by that. I would pretty much need to go get a job which would be pointless as it will not get me where I need to go.

Jane will be going to work and I will have the baby and then we will palm the baby off to retired friends mid week through the summer so I can go and do what I need to do. Jane is worried she will miss bonding with it but she gets 13 weeks holiday a year so it wont be too bad. It also means that we get to spend quality time as a family. I do my work in the evenings in the summer so when jane is home I will be able to do what I do.

I know a lot of chaps could not stay home every day but I have done it full time since 2009 and during the day I spend it "pottering about" and a lot of my friends are retired so always something to do or someone to see.

It is all about a work life balance but also staying focused in creating a bright future for everybody.

 

[Danny]

f**k that was an essay!!!

 

[Danny]

We had our first last week, I had the next day off, that was enough for me.
I go to work now for a rest, sometimes get the lads going and I'll go back to the van for a kip for the odd hour.

Congrats rich

 

[Danny]

Ha yep I can invisage that,
It's funny how you alter your way of thinking, I was driving the other day, and I was driving like a snail knowing she was in the back in her seat, and then some dick pulled out in front of me resulting me slamming all on, I went apeshit with this geezer which I don't often do as I'm pretty laid back, it a good job she can't pick up on bad language yet.

I was out on teh bike the other day and decided to not have my usual spirited ride as the thought of leaving jane a widow scared me... a gentle calmer ride continued... quite pleasant

 

[Danny]

Wife's just had a year of . We made sure cash was in place to cover it . We also realised we do t need no where near the money we spend. So now shes going back we are saving more . How longs she studying for

jane has saved a fortune based on the fact that she has not been drinking since she got preggers maternity pay is shocking though so that will be a tough 9 months off though

 

[Formby plastering]

Mate , how old are your 2 kids , I'm presuming under 4 , can't the Mrs wait till they are all at school till this happens that way you can both still go do what you want but the bonus could be you only work say 9.30. - 3

I got no kids but all my mates have and that's how they kind of work it.

Ye 1 and 3 mate she already has a start date so won't be able to hold it off.
I would love for it to be as easy as that but the only way we can go with it.

 

[Vincey]

Ye 1 and 3 mate she already has a start date so won't be able to hold it off.
I would love for it to be as easy as that but the only way we can go with it.

I'd just go with the flow then , see how you go and keep jobs floating, price um sky high and just do what you can if you can mate

 

[Formby plastering]

Wife's just had a year of . We made sure cash was in place to cover it . We also realised we do t need no where near the money we spend. So now shes going back we are saving more . How longs she studying for

Three years in all mate going to be a tuff ride . You soon realize how much you take there day for granted.
It's easy for us come back moaning how things aren't done but then too tired from grafting to give her the rest and support she needs from looking after them all day everyday with no time to do what she would like.

 

[Formby plastering]

I'd just go with the flow then , see how you go and keep jobs floating, price um sky high and just do what you can if you can mate

Ye cheers mate if it becomes weekend work I will certainly have to charge that little bit more to compensate

 

[Formby plastering]

Is nursing no sh it money though? Could she not wait till kids are at school then go for it?

Start date confirmed now or never she said I just hope it all works out I don't think it will be to bad with both of us earning I think it ranges 25,000 To 30,000 not amazing but she wants to branch of from that to do something else.

 

[Pagey]

In all honesty how many of you could just stop what you're doing now and be a full time house dad ?? The missus is about to go studying as a nurse and needs me to change career to stay off 5 days a week. I have two little ones and expecting another.
In all honesty I love going to work I no obviously the end of the day I love my kids to bits and am going to have I just can't get my head in the right place??

I'd love to stay off but
1 I can't cope with kids for more tag an hour
2 I earn decent doe for a thick cont
3 see the above 2

 

[Danny]

Start date confirmed now or never she said I just hope it all works out I don't think it will be to bad with both of us earning I think it ranges 25,000 To 30,000 not amazing but she wants to branch of from that to do something else.

stay confident and see what happens It will work out if you want it to

 

[Heritage Plasters]

@Formby plastering

I really identify with you bro. I have 2 kids at the moment. Boy is 3 and girl is 1. I worry what would happen if we had another. For now wife is able to stay home and take care of them but I know its hard for her. If I couldn't plaster I'm pretty sure I'd go out of my mind. Its much more than just a trade for me, I REALLY love it. My boy is getting old enough now where he helps me on projects around the house. (gets in the way mostly but its fune and hes already promised to be a plasterer. Can't wait for that.) Hang in there man and I hope everything works out for you. Maybe some evening/weekend work to keep your skills up. (And to keep a little sanity as well.)

 

[John j]

Three years in all mate going to be a tuff ride . You soon realize how much you take there day for granted.
It's easy for us come back moaning how things aren't done but then too tired from grafting to give her the rest and support she needs from looking after them all day everyday with no time to do what she would like.

I never come in moaning if nowt been done . I know how hard looking after a little en . I get up with baby let her have another hour as I,m always up anyway. If we're both knackered i,,lol take him for a walk for a hour while she has a break. Luckly lads golden. Goes straight to sleep at 7 just gets up about 5

 

[John j]

I was out on teh bike the other day and decided to not have my usual spirited ride as the thought of leaving jane a widow scared me... a gentle calmer ride continued... quite pleasant

What ye ride . Mtb or road . I go out on mtb but age makes me see all danger on jumps so just stick to trails

 

[John j]

@Formby plastering

I really identify with you bro. I have 2 kids at the moment. Boy is 3 and girl is 1. I worry what would happen if we had another. For now wife is able to stay home and take care of them but I know its hard for her. If I couldn't plaster I'm pretty sure I'd go out of my mind. Its much more than just a trade for me, I REALLY love it. My boy is getting old enough now where he helps me on projects around the house. (gets in the way mostly but its fune and hes already promised to be a plasterer. Can't wait for that.) Hang in there man and I hope everything works out for you. Maybe some evening/weekend work to keep your skills up. (And to keep a little sanity as well.)

If my sons end up on trowel I,lol feel like I failed em lol

 

[Cornelius]

I am in the same boat @Formby plastering

jane is due in october and 9 months after she is going back to work full time. Her wages are guaranteed and is very well paid. I take big gambles with my money and they pay off or they dont. If jane stays home I wont be able to take the risks I currently do so my whole business model is hampered by that. I would pretty much need to go get a job which would be pointless as it will not get me where I need to go.

Jane will be going to work and I will have the baby and then we will palm the baby off to retired friends mid week through the summer so I can go and do what I need to do. Jane is worried she will miss bonding with it but she gets 13 weeks holiday a year so it wont be too bad. It also means that we get to spend quality time as a family. I do my work in the evenings in the summer so when jane is home I will be able to do what I do.

I know a lot of chaps could not stay home every day but I have done it full time since 2009 and during the day I spend it "pottering about" and a lot of my friends are retired so always something to do or someone to see.

It is all about a work life balance but also staying focused in creating a bright future for everybody.

What is it you actually do @Danny ? Website design and gambling? And one off plastering jobs?

 

[Vincey]

Or you could just pick up the small jobs , tbh sometimes there is better money in little in and out jobs in an hour or 2 than there is in "bigger " ones, turn up at 6pm finish at 7pm 7.30pm

 

[Formby plastering]

Or you could just pick up the small jobs , tbh sometimes there is better money in little in and out jobs in an hour or 2 than there is in "bigger " ones, turn up at 6pm finish at 7pm 7.30pm

Ye cheers vince il take what comes and juggle what I can sure it will all work out

 

[john simpson]

I was in a similar position, 2 kids, partner wanted to go to uni for nursing, from what I remember it was a years access course and a 3 year uni course.
She didn't drive which was a killer too!
First year wasnt too bad as she could skip the odd class and timetable wasn't too bad so I just worked around that.
Uni was tough, never looked at it this way till I wrote this, maybe it played a big part in the relationship ending,i dunno?
I was up at 5 to run her to placements, back, kids up and that, one to school then other to childcare then into work, leave at 3, pick up kids, pick up partner, was tough.

I was resentful of her to be honest, seemed I was doing all the work and making all the sacrifices, caused a lot of arguments, some justified, some me being stressed and exhausted.

Tough decisions!
In my experience, no effing way would i do it again, id tell her to do the nursing when she had saved enough and the kids settled in school etc.

Then again I'm bitter, she effed off with someone see met through uni, week before the graduation! I didn't even get to go, first time in 12 years a decent joint income.
She took all the money from house, I was left with 40k which was pissed away in no time, 2007 crash, couldn't earn a penny.
I kept the kids which was great for a year, then she took them out of school one day and f**k*d off 200mile away.

Anyways, these decisions you make count!
Be honest about how you feel about it

In my case best thing ever happened bar the kids being so far away. Didn't always seem that way

 

[Rossi46]

You could always earn a little bit from sharing your work with someone local. A little drop for every job you pass on. Might work, might not.

 

[john simpson]

And now or never is a lie, she could easily wait till the kids start school?
Comprise a little?
She's definitely thinking 100% about herself, in my opinion.
Good luck pal, I was the nice guy too, only thought about the family.
My advice is to go away and seriously think about what you want.
If you love plastering I can also tell you that 4 or 5 years out of the hard grafting and you will never get back to it, your never the same, older I guess.

 

[Rossi46]

I was in a similar position, 2 kids, partner wanted to go to uni for nursing, from what I remember it was a years access course and a 3 year uni course.
She didn't drive which was a killer too!
First year wasnt too bad as she could skip the odd class and timetable wasn't too bad so I just worked around that.
Uni was tough, never looked at it this way till I wrote this, maybe it played a big part in the relationship ending,i dunno?
I was up at 5 to run her to placements, back, kids up and that, one to school then other to childcare then into work, leave at 3, pick up kids, pick up partner, was tough.

I was resentful of her to be honest, seemed I was doing all the work and making all the sacrifices, caused a lot of arguments, some justified, some me being stressed and exhausted.

Tough decisions!
In my experience, no effing way would i do it again, id tell her to do the nursing when she had saved enough and the kids settled in school etc.

Then again I'm bitter, she effed off with someone see met through uni, week before the graduation! I didn't even get to go, first time in 12 years a decent joint income.
She took all the money from house, I was left with 40k which was pissed away in no time, 2007 crash, couldn't earn a penny.
I kept the kids which was great for a year, then she took them out of school one day and f**k*d off 200mile away.

Anyways, these decisions you make count!
Be honest about how you feel about it

In my case best thing ever happened bar the kids being so far away. Didn't always seem that way

Jesus mate that's harsh! After everything you did for her too. What a kick in the b*ll***s

 

[Rossi46]

And now or never is a lie, she could easily wait till the kids start school?
Comprise a little?
She's definitely thinking 100% about herself, in my opinion.
Good luck pal, I was the nice guy too, only thought about the family.
My advice is to go away and seriously think about what you want.
If you love plastering I can also tell you that 4 or 5 years out of the hard grafting and you will never get back to it, your never the same, older I guess.

I've been there too being 'Mr Nice Guy.' Supported an ex through uni, paid for pretty much everything because she only had a bar job. Bought a house, spent a fortune on doing it up and then when she started earning well after graduating and getting a good job she left! Broke me at the time but much better for it now. Some women are just take, take, take!

 

[john simpson]

Rossi, took a few years but 100% saved me.

 

[Formby plastering]

I was in a similar position, 2 kids, partner wanted to go to uni for nursing, from what I remember it was a years access course and a 3 year uni course.
She didn't drive which was a killer too!
First year wasnt too bad as she could skip the odd class and timetable wasn't too bad so I just worked around that.
Uni was tough, never looked at it this way till I wrote this, maybe it played a big part in the relationship ending,i dunno?
I was up at 5 to run her to placements, back, kids up and that, one to school then other to childcare then into work, leave at 3, pick up kids, pick up partner, was tough.

I was resentful of her to be honest, seemed I was doing all the work and making all the sacrifices, caused a lot of arguments, some justified, some me being stressed and exhausted.

Tough decisions!
In my experience, no effing way would i do it again, id tell her to do the nursing when she had saved enough and the kids settled in school etc.

Then again I'm bitter, she effed off with someone see met through uni, week before the graduation! I didn't even get to go, first time in 12 years a decent joint income.
She took all the money from house, I was left with 40k which was pissed away in no time, 2007 crash, couldn't earn a penny.
I kept the kids which was great for a year, then she took them out of school one day and f**k*d off 200mile away.

Anyways, these decisions you make count!
Be honest about how you feel about it

In my case best thing ever happened bar the kids being so far away. Didn't always seem that way

You no what mate thankyou for sharing that and sorry to hear how things all turned out I hope after all that your back on your feet enjoying life again.
Part of me was thinking along those lines how it might turn out.
I suppose it will be a little easier as she can drive. I'll try keep my hand in at weekends. Hopefully things turn out good in the end and don't have to tell the same story.

 

[zolco]

I was in a similar position, 2 kids, partner wanted to go to uni for nursing, from what I remember it was a years access course and a 3 year uni course.
She didn't drive which was a killer too!
First year wasnt too bad as she could skip the odd class and timetable wasn't too bad so I just worked around that.
Uni was tough, never looked at it this way till I wrote this, maybe it played a big part in the relationship ending,i dunno?
I was up at 5 to run her to placements, back, kids up and that, one to school then other to childcare then into work, leave at 3, pick up kids, pick up partner, was tough.

I was resentful of her to be honest, seemed I was doing all the work and making all the sacrifices, caused a lot of arguments, some justified, some me being stressed and exhausted.

Tough decisions!
In my experience, no effing way would i do it again, id tell her to do the nursing when she had saved enough and the kids settled in school etc.

Then again I'm bitter, she effed off with someone see met through uni, week before the graduation! I didn't even get to go, first time in 12 years a decent joint income.
She took all the money from house, I was left with 40k which was pissed away in no time, 2007 crash, couldn't earn a penny.
I kept the kids which was great for a year, then she took them out of school one day and f**k*d off 200mile away.

Anyways, these decisions you make count!
Be honest about how you feel about it

In my case best thing ever happened bar the kids being so far away. Didn't always seem that way

All I can say is f**k sake

 

[Stevieo]

In all honesty how many of you could just stop what you're doing now and be a full time house dad ?? The missus is about to go studying as a nurse and needs me to change career to stay off 5 days a week. I have two little ones and expecting another.
In all honesty I love going to work I no obviously the end of the day I love my kids to bits and am going to have I just can't get my head in the right place??

Tell her to do one, the cheeky cow.

If she wants to get a trade, then she needs to find a way to do it.

Get Gran on the job or get an Au pair.

 

[john simpson]

Formby, im happy and have a better understanding of who I am, definitely less stressed.
Funny as I was the same, loads giving me advice and warning me but at that time I thought they were all bitter weirdos ;-)
Best of luck, no reason why it won't work out and ill send some positivity
Just take the time out to listen to the warning signs and decide whether to listen or ride it out.

 

[Pagey]

All this nonsense about wanting their sons to be a plasterer I've done the graft for them and if I can help it I will push them not to be a plasterer by saying look at state of me you don't want this for yourself hopefully I can make sure they knuckle down and educate themselves although got 2 boys and a girl

 

[owls]

Congrats rich

thanks

 

[choppa]

I am in the same boat @Formby plastering

jane is due in october and 9 months after she is going back to work full time. Her wages are guaranteed and is very well paid. I take big gambles with my money and they pay off or they dont. If jane stays home I wont be able to take the risks I currently do so my whole business model is hampered by that. I would pretty much need to go get a job which would be pointless as it will not get me where I need to go.

Jane will be going to work and I will have the baby and then we will palm the baby off to retired friends mid week through the summer so I can go and do what I need to do. Jane is worried she will miss bonding with it but she gets 13 weeks holiday a year so it wont be too bad. It also means that we get to spend quality time as a family. I do my work in the evenings in the summer so when jane is home I will be able to do what I do.

I know a lot of chaps could not stay home every day but I have done it full time since 2009 and during the day I spend it "pottering about" and a lot of my friends are retired so always something to do or someone to see.

It is all about a work life balance but also staying focused in creating a bright future for everybody.

BOOORRRING