magic insurance policy

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hector

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i am totally convinced that people have no ideas about the reality of being self employed,been working for a woman this week and i was explaining to her that if i have no work on, or on holiday, or if i am ill, i have no income no money no benefits nothing,she looked puzzled and then said those immortal words that i should submit a claim on my insurance policy, i stopped working and asked what fckin insurance policy, okay that last bit did not happen but stay with me dear reader, at this point i could feel the tears welling up and i started sobbing and hitting the wall with my trowel shouting why me , why me , why do i have to explain yet again the reality of being self employed, at this point she started slapping me and shouting at me pull yourself together man, slowly i calmed down the tears stopped and when i could talk i slowly,patiently explained to her about the at times nasty demanding people we work for,the bad payers and no work no money rule, the colour drained from her face i had taken away her innocence she had no idea at all, she went to her drawer and gave me a card with the local samaritans number and said she would pray for the plastering fraternity, i thanked but declined the card and said i was on first name terms with all the staff at the samaritans in fact i get asked to the xmas dances, she then after all i had said asked what advice i should give her nephew who was wanting to go into plastering, at this point you yes thats right you if you are still reading this my plastering brethen i looked her in the eyes and suggested he see a shrink and the local care in the community programme and between them they should dissuade him,and the ironic thing is she was a very intelligent woman with a very very good job until i came along and now she has a different view on the world, my next job is a star trek nut who assures me he can speak fluent klingon looking forward to that job.:RpS_biggrin:
 
hector said:
i am totally convinced that people have no ideas about the reality of being self employed,been working for a woman this week and i was explaining to her that if i have no work on, or on holiday, or if i am ill, i have no income no money no benefits nothing,she looked puzzled and then said those immortal words that i should submit a claim on my insurance policy, i stopped working and asked what fckin insurance policy, okay that last bit did not happen but stay with me dear reader, at this point i could feel the tears welling up and i started sobbing and hitting the wall with my trowel shouting why me , why me , why do i have to explain yet again the reality of being self employed, at this point she started slapping me and shouting at me pull yourself together man, slowly i calmed down the tears stopped and when i could talk i slowly,patiently explained to her about the at times nasty demanding people we work for,the bad payers and no work no money rule, the colour drained from her face i had taken away her innocence she had no idea at all, she went to her drawer and gave me a card with the local samaritans number and said she would pray for the plastering fraternity, i thanked but declined the card and said i was on first name terms with all the staff at the samaritans in fact i get asked to the xmas dances, she then after all i had said asked what advice i should give her nephew who was wanting to go into plastering, at this point you yes thats right you if you are still reading this my plastering brethen i looked her in the eyes and suggested he see a shrink and the local care in the community programme and between them they should dissuade him,and the ironic thing is she was a very intelligent woman with a very very good job until i came along and now she has a different view on the world, my next job is a star trek nut who assures me he can speak fluent klingon looking forward to that job.:RpS_biggrin:
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Two words 'feck me'!. That is all. Man, you've got some serious bad karma going on mate. Were you hitler in a previous life?
 
could be me but i think all the comments so far are just a tad to serious, lighten up plasterers of the wild it was written as a spoof,joke but themessage i was trying to say was how the public have no idea how hard it is to be self employed the woman does exist,and she did make the comment about the insurance policy, but the samaritans/sobbing etc was a joke/spoof ,i think that all that plaster dust has dulled your sense of humour, lighten up lads smile all the best hector.
 
hector said:
i am totally convinced that people have no ideas about the reality of being self employed,been working for a woman this week and i was explaining to her that if i have no work on, or on holiday, or if i am ill, i have no income no money no benefits nothing,she looked puzzled and then said those immortal words that i should submit a claim on my insurance policy, i stopped working and asked what fckin insurance policy, okay that last bit did not happen but stay with me dear reader, at this point i could feel the tears welling up and i started sobbing and hitting the wall with my trowel shouting why me , why me , why do i have to explain yet again the reality of being self employed, at this point she started slapping me and shouting at me pull yourself together man, slowly i calmed down the tears stopped and when i could talk i slowly,patiently explained to her about the at times nasty demanding people we work for,the bad payers and no work no money rule, the colour drained from her face i had taken away her innocence she had no idea at all, she went to her drawer and gave me a card with the local samaritans number and said she would pray for the plastering fraternity, i thanked but declined the card and said i was on first name terms with all the staff at the samaritans in fact i get asked to the xmas dances, she then after all i had said asked what advice i should give her nephew who was wanting to go into plastering, at this point you yes thats right you if you are still reading this my plastering brethen i looked her in the eyes and suggested he see a shrink and the local care in the community programme and between them they should dissuade him,and the ironic thing is she was a very intelligent woman with a very very good job until i came along and now she has a different view on the world, my next job is a star trek nut who assures me he can speak fluent klingon looking forward to that job.:RpS_biggrin:
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oi i a star trek fan nowt wrong with that inventors got a lot there ideas from that show
 
hector said:
i am totally convinced that people have no ideas about the reality of being self employed,been working for a woman this week and i was explaining to her that if i have no work on, or on holiday, or if i am ill, i have no income no money no benefits nothing,she looked puzzled and then said those immortal words that i should submit a claim on my insurance policy, i stopped working and asked what fckin insurance policy, okay that last bit did not happen but stay with me dear reader, at this point i could feel the tears welling up and i started sobbing and hitting the wall with my trowel shouting why me , why me , why do i have to explain yet again the reality of being self employed, at this point she started slapping me and shouting at me pull yourself together man, slowly i calmed down the tears stopped and when i could talk i slowly,patiently explained to her about the at times nasty demanding people we work for,the bad payers and no work no money rule, the colour drained from her face i had taken away her innocence she had no idea at all, she went to her drawer and gave me a card with the local samaritans number and said she would pray for the plastering fraternity, i thanked but declined the card and said i was on first name terms with all the staff at the samaritans in fact i get asked to the xmas dances, she then after all i had said asked what advice i should give her nephew who was wanting to go into plastering, at this point you yes thats right you if you are still reading this my plastering brethen i looked her in the eyes and suggested he see a shrink and the local care in the community programme and between them they should dissuade him,and the ironic thing is she was a very intelligent woman with a very very good job until i came along and now she has a different view on the world, my next job is a star trek nut who assures me he can speak fluent klingon looking forward to that job.:RpS_biggrin:
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too much time on your hands.northern monkey.
 
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