Getting a new youngin

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Arti

Arti

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Been asked to give a youngin on some government placement thingy a couple of days a week a placement

so i dont wanna do the usual bag of plaster above the head man test then split it all over him initiation and bumming the new boy is becoming more frowned upon as is waterboarding in this PC world

so im looking for something abit more creative.

any ideas lads
 
Pmsl got to love getting them to board a ceiling with you then deliberately run out of screws while pinning and pull their undies down. Especially when the come to work with their arse hanging out
 
Take him to the job in the morn,but stop outside some other random house then tell him to get out and go knock on the front door and ask them if you can park in the drive, move their car, or sumthin.
then watch him chap the door and turn and look at you as you speed off into the distance(pissin yersel laughing):RpS_wink:
 
we used to do cumbiscuit. you all gather around a biscuit and masturbate over it. the last one to cum has to eat it
 
Pile a big spot up high with compo and ask new boy if he can do cats paw ? use 2 fingers and thumb to make cats footprint in the compo n tell him to try, as soon as he does push his shoulder in arm upto his nostrils !

On Friday take him to a place with lots of stones get out of van walk over to a stone and make it look like your getting some notes from under it as your stash point to pay him, when drop him off go back and hide, 2 boys so far have gone back turning every stone over in the car park !pissed myself watching em scratch their heads looking for it.
 
I've heard a lot of pranks my dad used to do at the carriage works (BREL), some pretty dangerous lol.
Last one was at a compressor making company when they got the YTS (Young, Thick and Stupid) lad, wrapped him in industrial cling wrap and suspended him by his ankles from a fork lift for a few hours..

I suppose there's the usual, ex lax in his tea, trap him in the turdis with a ratchet strap, nail his bait box to a window sill or his boots to the floor.
Plenty you can do
 
So, end of the 1st week with the new boy wonder..............and boy was it hard work............i dont remember anyone showing me how to use a sweeping brush but that was lesson one. how to scrape little bits of wallpaper of was lesson 2. av been on vallium for the rest of the week.

I didnt think the basics would be this hard. Been trying to think what i was like as an apprentice...........obviously i was a bellend but i was keen as mustard to impress and got stuck in

Kids these days eh.....................:rolleyes)
 
Your a better man than me John, i just havent got an ounce of patience. Tried a few times and they drive me up the wall would rather plod on through the day on me own.
 
Hicky said:
Your a better man than me John, i just havent got an ounce of patience. Tried a few times and they drive me up the wall would rather plod on through the day on me own.
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that's probably what will happen marra...................:RpS_laugh:
 
Generations are mikes apart. You grew up with basic stuff like how to sweep instilled in from child hood. I could sow and iron before I went to high school. Now your getting the likes of joey Essex coming out who don't know how to tie shoe laces. On the upside at least you get to work a blank canvas. Like teaching a robot more than the basic commands it was created with. Here is how to paint on Pva. If they get it wrong they can't say you never showed them.
 
Arti said:
So, end of the 1st week with the new boy wonder..............and boy was it hard work............i dont remember anyone showing me how to use a sweeping brush but that was lesson one. how to scrape little bits of wallpaper of was lesson 2. av been on vallium for the rest of the week.

I didnt think the basics would be this hard. Been trying to think what i was like as an apprentice...........obviously i was a bellend but i was keen as mustard to impress and got stuck in

Kids these days eh.....................:rolleyes)
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Sounds like some of the dck heads I've had!! Rage!!

Does make you think what sort if upbringing they have had!! My kids 6-4 have to clean their own room, they often want to help me when doing the garden or what have you, they can use a fckin brush FFS

IMO know matter what profession your offspring go into I believe all of them should have (common sense, a firm grasp if reality, nothing is ever given in life always earnt!)

Haha sound like a right tw*t don't I and they only 6 and 4 :-/
 
I had a young lad about 2 year ago come and help me get some thermal boards up the tower to board a vaulted ceiling, the first 2 hours was emotional with him on his phone everytime it bleeped, never seen anyone type so fast. If you cracked a joke or said something funny he would laugh and then actually say the word LOL.

It was all to much for me, i wayed him in on the way home and never picked him up in the morning.
 
SpankySouthport said:
Sounds like some of the dck heads I've had!! Rage!!

Does make you think what sort if upbringing they have had!! My kids 6-4 have to clean their own room, they often want to help me when doing the garden or what have you, they can use a fckin brush FFS

IMO know matter what profession your offspring go into I believe all of them should have (common sense, a firm grasp if reality, nothing is ever given in life always earnt!)

Haha sound like a right tw*t don't I and they only 6 and 4 :-/
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Not at all mate, my little boy is only 3 and a little ba3tard, however his manners are mega, and if anyone speaks to him he answers them.

Also can't is a swear word in our house ha ha hes not allowed to say it.
 
Hicky said:
I had a young lad about 2 year ago come and help me get some thermal boards up the tower to board a vaulted ceiling, the first 2 hours was emotional with him on his phone everytime it bleeped, never seen anyone type so fast. If you cracked a joke or said something funny he would laugh and then actually say the word LOL.

It was all to much for me, i wayed him in on the way home and never picked him up in the morning.
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Was he a floppy haired skater G** boy!! :RpS_cursing:
 
Arti said:
Been asked to give a youngin on some government placement thingy a couple of days a week a placement

so i dont wanna do the usual bag of plaster above the head man test then split it all over him initiation and bumming the new boy is becoming more frowned upon as is waterboarding in this PC world

so im looking for something abit more creative.

any ideas lads
Click to expand...
Just be nice Arti
 
:RpS_scared:...................there are somethings i just wont do @keithuk. I have to draw the line somewhere
 
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Hicky said:
Not at all mate, my little boy is only 3 and a little ba3tard, however his manners are mega, and if anyone speaks to him he answers them.

Also can't is a swear word in our house ha ha hes not allowed to say it.
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Can't means won't and won't means jail...........................:RpS_thumbsup:
 
SpankySouthport said:
Sounds like some of the dck heads I've had!! Rage!!

Does make you think what sort if upbringing they have had!! My kids 6-4 have to clean their own room, they often want to help me when doing the garden or what have you, they can use a fckin brush FFS

IMO know matter what profession your offspring go into I believe all of them should have (common sense, a firm grasp if reality, nothing is ever given in life always earnt!)

Haha sound like a right tw*t don't I and they only 6 and 4 :-/
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Yeh and stop blaming me aswell you grumpy twart !!!


:RpS_laugh:
 
keithuk said:
Try , you will get there young Jedi ,may the force be with you
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Keith have you had one like this and have they turned out alright? Is it just a phase as when I've had them it's fckin painful

I've got my nephew with me a lot of the time and he's great in some respects as in never late, never moans, works all day has to told to take a break bla bla bla but on the flip side it's fckin painful with him so fckin some to pick even little things up and remember them for next time
 
Arti said:
So, end of the 1st week with the new boy wonder..............and boy was it hard work............i dont remember anyone showing me how to use a sweeping brush but that was lesson one. how to scrape little bits of wallpaper of was lesson 2. av been on vallium for the rest of the week.

I didnt think the basics would be this hard. Been trying to think what i was like as an apprentice...........obviously i was a bellend but i was keen as mustard to impress and got stuck in

Kids these days eh.....................:rolleyes)
Click to expand...

F**king useless mate, I been looking for another lad to join us, had one hacking off on a job, it was back of the house, I got to the front door and could hear loud music, thought someone their was a free party going on somewhere, wne tout the back it was getting louder, poked my head round the side of the house and there was the new lad, removing render with ear protection on, and a boombox pugged into his phone next to him with the music blaring out.

Complete joke all of them want it put on a plate.
 
Yes mate ,just takes time ,some are not up for the work ,so be it ,others you just have to work with them ,give them time and respect , treat them like a fool they will become one
 
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