Best joke you've heard...

Best joke you've heard...
Nice work if you can get it
 
A judge has to convict two drug addicts but it is late on a Friday and he is in a rush to get to a posh do. So he says to them "listen guys, I want to give you both a chance so if you come back on Monday and have got some other people off drugs I`ll let you off". The two drug addicts cant believe their luck, nod and leave.

Monday comes and the judge asks the first guy "how many people did you get off drugs?", so the guy says "4 Your honour", the judge asks him how and the guy replies "Well I drew 2 circles, one was massive and the other was small. I pointed at the big one and said -this is the size of your brain before you get on drugs- and then I pointed to the small circle and said -this is the size of your brain after you've taken drugs-". The judge is very impressed and says "very well, I will let you leave without further punishment".

He then turns to the second guy and asks him how many people he got off drugs "2542" replies the guy. The judge asks him "Astonishing, how? "Oh it was very simple" he replies "I used the 2circle method too...only I pointed to the tiny circle and said -this is the size of your arsehole before you go to prison..."
 
Nasty big skinhead is in court in front of an old, deaf but very experienced and very posh judge,
Judge says "well we have heard from learned counsel the extremes of your violent conduct, and the effect it has had upon your victims, before I sentence you, do you have anything to say?"........ The big skinhead replied
"FU#K ALL"..........
The judge leaned forward to speak to the clerk and said"what did he say?"..... Clerk replied " fu*k all, your honour".......
Judge says "don't be a c*nt.....I saw his lips move!"
 
Three shites sitting on a pavement.. Which one is the musketeer???.............

















The dark tan yin.....

Soz:X3:
 
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Sam Allardyce has reportedly been sacked as England Manager the only manager in football history to be sacked with a 100% winning record.
 
Fred has to make a delivery and his boss tells him to be very careful....The name is Mrs Franny and she will be very angry if you mispronounce it!....this makes Fred nervous so all the way to her house he rehearses "morning Mrs Franny......morning Mrs Franny....morning Mrs Franny"....he arrives at the door and she opens it and he says "morning Mrs Crunt"
 
My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her.

Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.
 
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