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What's worse than letting Michael Jackson babysit your children ? Letting them go on holiday with the McCans

What does Michael Jackson and Santa have in common ? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks

Popcorn gif

The lads doing the council work here are a bit about 400 a week. There all f**k**g useless though and I wouldn't even give them that lol

if the answer is cockrobin, what is the question? - what's that up my arse batman FML I've been around sites too long :( haha

Why did the bald man put rabbits on his head ? Because from a distance they looked like hares

Did you know that 6/7 dwarfs aren't happy

Did you hear about the woman winning the annual strawberry picking competition in Amsterdam last week ? She had no legs, jammy c**t :)

We try to get new builds render and set the inside. Then you can always have something to do if the weathers shite! Not always that easy though. I tend to up my price for rendering in winter to allow for some of the downtime/sitting in the van !

I've only got a green card because I refuse to pay 3k for an nvq. Their not worth the paper they're written on imo... Although I understand some sites now demand a gold card to put on ? this isn't like other trades (sparky/plumber) it's all based on experience and knack, I've sacked handfuls...

iPhone 6 with an "otter box" shatter/shock proof case. Thing is indestructible !! This is my 4th iPhone from breakages at work though. Finally realised the £40 case is worth it

Just set the hard wall same day, easy game !

I am yet to find anything made by ox that seems of any quality. Everything from levels to buckets seem to be cheap and poorly made. Get what you pay for usually, and its all cheap! Although apparently Kia make some good cars so what do I know ? :)

while on the subject of this stuff - Cat litter trays, why the f**k would anyone want that in their house?! especially in the f**k**g bathroom?! and then they expect you to work in there! c**ts the lot of em. I don't mind cats but for christs sake get them to s**t outside where I don't have...

I've seen your van around Torquay :) I rendered a house in Paignton a while back and think you were doing a job the next road down. Does you're neck hurt yet ? :)

Vans broken down Wife's I'll/Gotta look after the kids Injury Need to let the scratch harden (lol) I could go on

Yeah today. Look again years down the line If you get any bits of base coat that are thicker e.g by the beads etc then it can grin through with time. I would always use a primer for the sake of a few quid. They spec it for a reason

Definitely use primer. I've seen a disaster before where they didn't use any and sprayed it on. It had shadows and lines grinning through within a year !

Always work with another lad, I could probably mak more on my own, but it's lonely and boring. You need someone to pick on :) When we do a big job and my other lads are all with us it is a right scream. Unless you're the brunt of the jokes haha

The old fluorescent orange ones eh ?! Who needs a vest

if he has got a room to do that day, which is a day's work, it doesn't matter if he puts on at 10am as long as it's finished and is quality. That's my opinion. A day's work is a day's work. If I came onsite to be moaned at at 8.30 for not putting on by then I'd tell you to poke it and go for a...

For sure, although I'm not down with all the G** slim new shapes. It's Gotta be 90s/95s for me. Plain colours too ! f**k I sound like a woman :O haha

There would be a que a mile long to foot that ladder

Yeah their manual says about the fine surface treatment. They're an absolute pig for multi finish

Nothing fucks me off more than having the last hit of a job on and the client then asks for "just put a bit on there for me" for something not related to our agreement when you've already cleaned down the buckets and got the van loaded ready to go. I point blank refuse these days, the boy gets...

Nike air Max's (yes I'm a chav) They even have an anti nail device in the soles ! Comfort is King.

Would have to be a job down south. I've seen the prices those northern monkeys graft for :)

Go down at 6am ready to get an early start and get in front for once this f**k**g year and this awaits me in the kitchen, f**k my life :( "Let's get a puppy, it's lovely for the little one" she said. Nice one love

Ive got a makita heated jacket for rendering in the winter. It's the b*ll***s!! I use the 10v batteries in it tho because the normal 18v ones are a bit uncomfortable. I hate the bloody cold!

It's decent for chases/patching. Can go on nice and thick, sponge it up and trowel up with the fat. Beats having to bond out and then skim imo.. That being said, I rarely use it because I'm too lazy/tight and have loads of half bags of multi in my lockup, some are so old they go off before you...

I've had a bad experience which is why I asked. We followed everything on manufacturers spec and some walls are fine and others either crazied on us or the joints cracked.. Fermacell say that the joints should be filled with their compound before skimming apparently but not all joints were...

R7 primer HP12 base-coat TC primer Topcoat Rub cash on titties

What about skimming ?

Plastercraft wins for me. That looks like Jesus himself has rubbed his arse all over it. Madmonk close 2nd tho ! Lol Clemo XD

Interested to hear people's experiences with this stuff.. Discuss !!

sticks like s**t

I've had problems with TP sand. Mix fine and sharp onsite ourselves an with better results !

That ain't the sand buddy !!!

Sounds like an Italian opera singer

I thought you didn't want to be feckimg around with merchants ?!

get the lads in !!!

Oh is that how to do a join.... Right. Never look as good as all in one set in my opinion. When the light catches it you might still see a shadow, depends how well you can patch in, I'd always do it in one go, 4 good lads should eat that up and in the pub like plaster man said ! To each...

Sigh, joining it is never as good cmon ! I swear you badtards just do it to wind me up :)

I get sencos at TP for dirt cheap, like £6 a box I think ?! I'm sure somewhere online will be cheaper tho ?

We had a bet at work once when I was an apprentice. Loser had to put on the clients knickers and run a lap of the garden, Mickey ended up doing it, he's a crazy b*****d ! We all preyed her husband came home early and catch him! sadly he didn't, was entertaining enough anyway though !!!

Don't use beads. Put it all on in one set, much better finish. Assuming the lads know they're stuff !

Pic wins thoooo

Why are pirates called pirates ? Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Nice ! What material/finish is it having ? looks like a fun project ! History ?